After completing 12 demanding weeks of recruit training, recruits have earned the Eagle, Globe, and Anchor and can finally be called United States Marines. Major Gen. Ronald L. Bailey gives the oath of enlistment to poolees from Recruiting Station St. Louis at the Cardinals vs. Phillies game at Busch Stadium. google_ad_format = "468x60_as"; Signature While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. In Judaism, Christianity, and Islām oaths have been used widely.In Judaism, two kinds of oaths are forbidden: (1) a vain oath, in which one attempts to do something that is impossible to accomplish, denies self-evident facts, or attempts to negate the fulfillment of a religious precept, and (2) a false oath, in which one uses the name of God to swear falsely, thus committing a sacrilege. ... the admiral is in effect denying his oath to defend the Constitution against domestic enemies. After completion of my snicker “Basic Training,” I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, chairborne Ranger. I will arrive at work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave every day at 1300 to report back to the “company.” I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working in construction with my friends from high school. It forms the bedrock of what we stand for and are willing to … I ONCE TOOK A SOLEMN OATH TO DEFEND T-shirt. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. After completion of my sexual…er…I mean Boot Camp, I will attend a different Army school once every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. Oath of Commissioned Officers. I will have a better quality of life than all those around me and will at all times besure to make them aware of that fact. google_ad_height = 15; I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others more dedicated than me who take their job … google_ad_width = 468; I, state your name, swear… uuhhhh… high-and-tight… (grunt) cammies… uhh… ugh… Air Force women… OORAH! us navy oath of enlistment " I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back with it. A video of an Air National Guard master sergeant reciting her oath of re-enlistment while using a dinosaur hand puppet has drawn a rebuke from a three-star general. Heres the "oaths" of enlistment i found on the net, their great. u.s. coast guard enlistment oath "I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES COAST GUARD because I know being in the real military scares me. So help me God. u.s. coast guard enlistment oath "I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES COAST GUARD because I know being in the real military scares me. var a = Math.random() + ""; U.S. Air Force Oath of Enlistment. I swear to sit behind a desk and … Inspirational Humor     The same goes for a lot of Army Rangers I've met. google_color_link = "0000CC"; So help me God. I m a Veteran My Oath of Enlistment Has No Expirat. I swear to sit behind a desk. google_color_url = "000000"; I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the United States Army because I couldn’t score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, because I’m not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won’t take me because I can’t swim. I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others more dedicated than me who take their job seriously. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because Hand-Crafted in Tennessee, This Custom Wood Block Sign Measures 4X12 Inches. I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others more dedicated than me who take their job … I, Zoomie, swear to sign away 4 years of my useless life to the United States Air Force because I’m too smart for the Army and because the Marines frighten me. google_color_text = "000000"; Immediately I thought to myself, the oath is a major part of who we are in the military. google_color_url = "000000"; U.S. ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT I, Rambo, swear to sign away four years of my mediocre life to the United States Army because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. google_color_link = "0000CC"; I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. google_ad_client = "pub-5328055894962635"; I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others more dedicated than me who take their job seriously. Funny Dentist's Oath The Whole Tooth. U.S. AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT. § 502.That section provides the text of the oath and sets out who may administer the oath: § 502. I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others more dedicated than me who take their job seriously. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world. google_ad_height = 60; from $ 23.99. I, Zoomie, swear to sign away 4 years of my useless life to the United States Air Force because I'm too smart for the Army and because the Marines frighten me. google_ad_format = "468x15_0ads_al_s"; I Am A Veteran My Oath … I swear to sit behind a desk. THE NATIONAL GUARD OATH OF ENLISTMENT: I, Mr. Wannabee, hereby acknowledge that I joined the National Guard full time because I am a spineless, gutless, useless **** who's only ambition is to sit around and drink beer, use government facilities and property for my personal needs, and collect my pension. I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others more dedicated than me who take their job … Oh, I thought it was funny too, but on only 95% of the Army take that oath. google_ad_type = "text"; google_color_bg = "FFFFF0"; LANGLEY AIR FORCE BASE, Va. -- The other day I was reviewing Air Force Instruction 1-1, Air Force Standards, when I came across the Oath of Enlistment. By: Stephen Losey “I am absolutely embarrassed that a senior officer and a senior NCO took such liberties with a time-honored military tradition,” Haston wrote. counter += 'alt="The Christian Counter">'; New Enlistment Oaths U.S. Air Force Oath of Enlistment. U.S AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT I, Zoomie, swear to sign away four years of my useless life to the United States Air Force because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army and because the Marines frighten me. Date: _________________. But it also serves as a verbal promise that reminds us of our commitment to our country, our service, and our brothers in arms. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of … There is an important difference to understand when reading the Officers' Oath of Enlistment compared to the Oath of Office. I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others … using words like “deck, bulkhead, cover, and head” instead of “floor, wall, hat, and toilet.” I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank and ensignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. Oath of Enlistment. LANGLEY AIR FORCE BASE, Va., Sept. 6, 2012 — The other day I was reviewing Air Force Instruction 1-1, Air Force Standards, when I came across the Oath of Enlistment. It starts with a General doing a kangaroo impression during the oath of enlistment and gets worse from there. Top Posters. from $ 3.29. The oath of enlistment is all in a single sentence so if one part applies forever all the parts do too. Our "secret" enlistment oath is "Blood Makes the Grass Grow Green!" : Decorative Accessories - Amazon.com FREE DELIVERY possible on eligible purchases I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the United States Navy because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too “corporate,” and because I thought, “hey, I like to swim…why not?” I promise to wear clothing that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. Military Oaths of Enlistment The Following Are Various Appropriate Oaths Of Enlistment Each … It forms the bedrock of what we stand for and are willing to fight for. US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me and I am afraid of water over waist deep. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can’t pass a placement exam. google_ad_client = "pub-5328055894962635"; I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my new-found “colleagues.” So help me Neptune. Some Funny Revisions to Military Oaths of Enlistment. I swear to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States, even though I believe myself to be above that. Immediately I thought to myself, the oath is a major part of who we are in the military. I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will ever see is a court-martial for sexual harassment.