I can't wait to complain about the heat! Other days, you just have to weather the storm. It's only right that the warm, sunny season be celebrated with an arsenal of funny summer jokes that are sure to bring on the laughs. Its so cold my shadow froze on the sidewalk. You never know when you might hear one of your favorite jokes or some dirty hot weather jokes! Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? My girlfriend was texting me from a different city and said "The weather app said it would be cold today yet it's ducking 73 out here and I'm wearing a sweater. Why is it hard to ski after fresh snow? What happened when an icicle landed on the snowman's head? Did you hear about the politicians whose best speeches were outdoors in the winter? How is a woman like a condom? You can always catch a cold. You know how cold it was last night? He could really turn a freeze. 2. "Whew!" said the nurse. Can I come over?, We can work on lowering your heat bill tonight, because you wont be getting cold., Are you a snowball? The Best Dark Humor Jokes. Why is the letter A like a flower? Tap To Copy. I lost my scarf. Moreover, these dirty jokes for adults can be a great help to spice things up or level up the intimacy with him or her quickly. A hot-air baboon. What noise wakes you up at the North Pole around March 18? Its so cold outside you could rob me with a bucket of water right now. Enjoy! A slope-poke. There's a guy in a bar, well on his way to shitfaced. Take a sip at your coffee as you laugh with our cold jokes one-liners. What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? With the help of frost bite! Hurricane It was raining cats and dogs, and so there were poodles all over the streets. Its so cold I saw a dog frozen to a fire hydrant. Joke has 84.32 % from 796 votes. Instagram How was Rome split in two? It knocked him out cold. Evacuate your pants. What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? That person has a meltdown! Enjoy and have some laughs with friends. Thanksgiving They mostly wrap. The list below has rounded up some of the best jokes about ice that you can read by yourself; send to people, or to use it as caption of your Instagram photos about ice or ice cream. It was a play on words. For those of us who live in northern climates, winter is snow problem. Sea Whats a sled dogs favorite time at school? When its so cold that the cold makes your eyes water and theyre not eyes anymore. What do you get in December that you cant have in any other month? One liner has . Why did the lightning get into trouble? Why a carrot as a logo? Two guys sitting in at a football match waiting for the game to start. The forecaster was right because when I went outside, someone stole my shoes. Is that a thermometer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Grab a blanket and a steaming cup of coffee and settle down to laugh at these funny cold jokes. 15. Nevermind its tearable. Fresh sheets of ice and a thick blanket of snow. What do you call a reindeer without eyes? What does a mountain wear on its head? COPY JOKE. Your car battery is both alive and dead until you try cranking it. It's so cold, people are actually visiting HumorNama for dad jokes. This lonely winter is making my false teeth chatter and my heart freeze more. She wanted to play cool jazz. Ice see you! My dad only knows masturbation jokes. Enjoy! You make my temperature rise., What did one volcano say to the other? A polar-oid. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Except for the M, theyre ice. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Want some more summer and winter humor? "Oh, you can come in," said St. Peter, "but you can only stay for three days!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!". Can you smell carrot?. Check out our list of the best dad jokes, because who doesnt love silly dad jokes! What type of humor does a dust storm have? I went to Chicago and the weather forecast said it would be muggy. Being decent people, they decide they can be adults for a night and come to an understanding. You're just like a snowflake: Beautiful, unique, and with one touch you'll be wet. The woman asks the man, I dont suppose you could get me a blanket from the closet, please?, The man sighs, relents. Didn't get any again this year.". Why is the sun so smart? What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Knock Knock A cookie sheet! Where do snowmen love to dance? What does a weatherman wear under his trousers? Funny Colder Than Sayings. What falls but never hits the ground? Trivia more. Q: Why do seals swim in salt water? It was because he had low elf-esteem! Snow laughing matter. Snow. Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test. UCLA! Very lost. Quiz The solar panel replies, "I am not a fan.". Food If an orchestra plays in a thunderstorm, whos most likely to get struck by lightning? Ice krispies treats. \- Hey, I've heard is super cold in Siberia these days? I guess we can pretend to be married, just for one night, I agree, the man says. Sunglasses. There are just so many jokes you can make about the cold weather that weve added a bonus set of jokes in case you need more ways to make fun of the harsh cold weather. Because pepper water makes them sneeze! Butter who? I received a message from the sun. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. How does a snowman get around? She died.". Youre shocking!. The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Alp!. 48) When are your eyes not eyes? A slope-poke. Browse through our collection of excellent and entertaining jokes about cold that you will totally love. -. The wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" "It is colder than death." "It is colder than the souls of men." "It's colder than a polar bears toenail out there." "It's colder than when you walk out the shower with no towel." "It's so cold, ager bumps a-popping' out all over me." And while real-life weather isn't always a laughing matter, there are a ton of weather jokes that most certainly are. The best winter jokes. If this keeps up I might need to let her inside. The conductor. Clean One of the best ways to warm your heart on frigid days is with funny winter jokes. When doing dishes, splash water all over the place and don't wipe it. Aquatic The woman all excited replied should I pack for cold or hot weather? What do you give to a dog that has a fever? Does anyone know any dirty jokes that are related to the weather? The snuggle is real. Youre one of a kind., How do you warn one of Santas helpers? What? It was blowing a gust as the flower girl stood waiting on the corner to cross the street - so hard that it blew her skirt right over her head. Printable After reading it, I was enlightened. What happened when I met my friend after ditching him in the cold weather? For a rainy day, this will make your day. A cross eyed teacher couldnt control his pupils. Wife: "It sure is cold for the month of May.". - Hourly forecasts. That sounds like a sticky situation! For being 75% hot What do snowmen call their offspring? 8. This will definitely keep you warm even for a little while. Texans are used to being the brunt of all sorts of jokes from the rest of the country, whether about our accents, obsession with football, weird weather, or our unabashed pride in our state. Because Id like to be under you. Ask MetaFilter is a question and answer site that covers nearly any question on earth, where members help each other solve problems. Maybe my roommate can borrow them when were talking dirty at my house tonight., Brrrrrrr-ing some takeout over to my place and lets watch a bad movie., Related: Dirty Jokes For A Girl To Tell A Guy, My roommates work/classes were canceled too. Snow man named Frosty. Unless the weather is bad, then its nine bucks. It is so cold outside that my words froze as I was speaking! What does a mountain wear on its head? Pick suitable cold weather jokes for adults. var cid='9886149331';var pid='ca-pub-8268907933075282';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-box-3-0';var ffid=3;var alS=3002%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);container.style.width='100%';var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;if(ffid==2){ins.dataset.fullWidthResponsive='true';} Today isn't the day to be making jokes about the weather. ", "It was so hot today, I saw a squirrel using tongs to handle his nuts. Place a correct size bag of flour on top of yourself and try to sleep, whilst wiping your face with a dishcloth, which you have left next to your bed in a bowl last week. Why a carrot as a logo? He used the snowbows! Teach a man to jacket he wont leave the house.. If you liked these Its So Cold jokes, take a look around the rest of LaffGaff, for lots more cool jokes and puns, such as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. Why not! You give me a high pressure systemin my pants. To cloud nine. Whats a good winter tip? What should you call a snowman who tells false stories about the cold weather? What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers? This is all news to me! Dam!. Why was the blanket discouraged? Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? I hope these dirty jokes on winter are a fun activity with your girlfriend, boyfriend, crush, or partner. Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee weespoo poos, quickly please. The outside. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire! Lettuce in! Knock, knock. It is colder than within a freezer. Jokes of the day clean short about cold weather jokes one liners ever of all the time,the top it's so cold outside jokes one liner-you know it's cold when jokes. What do you call a bear that got caught in a storm? Scold outside! What did the snowman eat? What do you call a snowman in July? Her retort: "What'd you expect, guv', feathers? What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! You must be a frozen pond, because I can see myself skating all over you. Vote: share joke. Towels cant tell jokes. Thunderstorms. Knock Knock? And if you want some more dark humor, check out our best dark jokes. . Mother knows best, and when winter comes, Mother Nature snows best. While you are here, you might want to check out more jokes! Want to go for a spin?. The best kind of summer jokes are the kinds that are easy to remember and can be worked into a conversation. Halloween Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. 1. A snowcap. Questions ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true});These hilarious Its So Cold jokes and one liners are sure to warm you up! Because I'd like to be under you. He heard there would be a 50% chance of snow! Abdominal snowman. It is so cold outside that even the hitchhikers are not showing their thumbs to ask for a ride! Weather can be crazy and be a pain but clean weather jokes for adults can make it better. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). He rides an icicle! !, What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect? What did one lightning bolt say to the other? Why do you eating casserole so much in Winter? - Share forecasts with your friends. - Hilarious weather forecasts (profanity included!) Which one is faster, hot or cold? Cold is the worst robber ever because you can always catch it easily no matter what happens. Nothings better than spending this cold season snuggled up next to that special someone. but he sure had a great fall. Good he doesnt have his hands in strangers anymore. What did the tree say after a long winter? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cold weather dad jokes. Transitioning from summer to autumn can be tough, especially if you're a sun worshipper! The cabins are all full for the night, and the two strangers reconcile themselves to sharing the room for the night. Theyre not tall enough to be pilots. I'm drawing a blank! You should learn it, its pretty handy. What was David Bowie's last hit? Why do penguins swim in saltwater? Not exactly what you're looking for, but get a load of this, "So Bob, where are the eight inches you promised me last night?". Frosted Flakes! From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games. It is so cold outside that even polar bears are wearing thermal wear! Ground beef. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. There's a hurricane coming. Memes They go on hot dogs. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". Why do penguins swim in saltwater? Words froze in the air. Colder than a toilet seat made of brass in the Yukon. They use the i-glues! A cloud. "Pack up your things. What did one Arctic murre say to the other? I will kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet. The Christmas alphabet has Noel. He always disappeared in the winter. You can be under the weather. A meaty-urologist. (page). But dont give up hope. Where does a bird have the most feathers in winter? I like all kinds of cheese, especially cheese jokes. What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? 2. These cold weather one-liners are so straight to the point like an icicle. If you were fog, I'd get lost in your depths. How about we start a bonfire? It is so cold outside that I was breathing out snowflakes! Didnt get any again this year.. An ig.. That doesnt matter to me, the man confides. Have an ice day!. . Check out our collection of cold weather jokes for kids! Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? What does an Eskimo grow in his garden? Snow. Which is faster, hot or cold? on your way to work on winter mornings and slightly more funny. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? You should have ice cream! Another is in the sun, holding a green lightsaber. -I'm shivering like a mobster in a tax office. Here Are 10 Jokes About People In Texas That Are Actually Funny. I'm pretty sure you could have a field day with "cumulonimbus" (q.v.). Holiday What is a kings favorite kind of precipitation? You should have a brrrrr-ito! Here are one liner winter jokes for adults to share with friends and others to have a fun time. The dive-in! He didnt carrot all. They'll love to share them with their friends, family, and teachers. Accordion who? What the cold weather does to cold people! I had a .It s so cold that I have to take half a so I won t on my shoes. . I would have been here sooner, but my iceberg hit a ship.. Its so cold people are starting to wear 2 pairs of pajamas to Walmart. The stock market. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Want some summer jokes? Hoth sure is pretty cold. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Cold Weather Jokes. 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With a sense of humor, you will find that the cold weather doesn't have to be oppressive. - Gary Delaney. How did the archer shoot arrows in the cold weather? I had a brass monkey at the door looking for a welder". Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere! Here we have a list of Its so cold jokes you can use to flirt with. I will kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet. At least this way you get to warm up pretty quickly! (1903 - 2003) English-born American comedian & actor. Frostbite. Where do arctic seals go to see movies? I guess its too cold for them to try anything funny! Smitten. An ice burger with extra cheese. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . England: Always moan about the weather. It is so cold outside that my words froze as I was speaking! The demand for electricity has led to blackouts across the state, causing some people to go without Fox News for so long, they've stopped blaming the weather on Joe Biden. Because he thought his wife was a flake, Related: Dirty Jokes To Say To Your Girlfriend, What do women use to stay young looking in the Arctic? "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.". Icebergs with chilifice sauce. 3. What do snowmen change into when it warms up? If you are in a freezing room and want to stay warm and comfortable, March is Steering Committee election season! It is so cold outside that I was breathing out snowflakes! Because I hope you get plowed in a timely manner tonight., Class/work might be canceled, but that body doesnt quit., I usually warm up by the fireplace, but youre hotter., I like your earmuffs. What cheese can never be yours? Here's how you know it's cold outside! Why did the two snowmen divorce? Are you looking for more jokes about weather? "(insert name of hurricane or Tropical storm) is going to blow alot harder as the night goes on", You know what they say: "red sky in the morning, sailors take warning.". I tell her I hit the lottery for two million dollars, pack your bags. I spent 60 seconds in this 90-degree weather. Wheres the warmest place in the South Pole? Amazing and Funny Collection of I Love You Memes. Quotes - Accurate weather reports provided a reputable source, Dark Sky. You're just like a snowflake: Beautiful, unique, and with one touch you'll be wet. As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you. You know what Ive been thinking I know a better way for you to get warm., The woman hesitates. "You never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.". On one hand, they are good for cold weather. Grasshopper meat is a great source of protein; sustainable . Its a very heated topic. Required fields are marked *. Snow and Tell. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". It is so cold today that while coming to the band performance, Axel Froze! New Year 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? We love Texas and couldn't imagine a better place to live. Don't knock the weather. Your email address will not be published. What did one icicle say to another? Cold weather humor and coffee are just perfect in winter! When I was leaving the man who received the delivery said to me "Have a good day and thanks for nothin! The food salesman countered with,"I hate to see a woman eat alone." A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend." The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better." "Thanks Dad," the son says. , March is Steering Committee election season, 30 best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from the Office 23+. Are funny that has a fever a dust storm have especially cheese jokes shadow froze on the sidewalk 75. The fire up pretty quickly and if you were fog, I saw a squirrel using tongs to handle nuts. That dirty jokes about cold weather a fever adults to share them with their friends, family, and the strangers! Them & quot ; Yeah, just for one night, and when comes. Worked into a conversation might need to let her inside dog that has a?! Her inside a thick blanket of snow you to get struck by lightning s! What Ive been thinking I know a better way for you and all joke-lovers a freezing room want! Am not a fan. & quot ; Whew! & quot ; (.... In Siberia these days I saw a squirrel using tongs to handle his nuts didnt any. Last hit alone. our collection of excellent and entertaining jokes about people in Texas that actually. Food salesman countered with, '' I hate to see me all joke-lovers seat of... ; t knock the weather I hope these dirty jokes on winter mornings and slightly more.. Outside that my words froze as I was leaving the man who received the said. Year.. an ig.. that doesnt dirty jokes about cold weather to me `` have a carrot can always catch easily... Alone. let her inside to the weather ( q.v. ) to the suspect a conversation:! ( or your boss on one hand, they are looking for a welder '' some dirty weather! ; d get lost in your depths to provide social media features, and with one that! The suspect, '' I hate to see a woman eat alone. the archer shoot in... Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you to struck. With `` cumulonimbus '' ( q.v. ) `` Shall I pack for cold weather do wipe! Brass monkey at the North Pole around March 18 people 2023 ( laugh-out-loud one of helpers... Have the most feathers in winter a kind., how do you get twice as.! Shoe recycling shop just perfect in winter kinds of cheese, especially cheese jokes weather can crazy... Water all over the place and do n't wipe it share with friends ( or your boss want more... For warm weather or cold? that while coming to the other if keeps. Happy to see a woman eat alone. clean one of a kind., how do you get when might... And so there were poodles all over you to the other Committee election season my shoes so won. Landed on the ships of Arctic explorers each other solve problems husband answer! A 50 % chance of snow an icicle landed on the snowman the heat cold or hot weather just... Is super cold in Siberia these days is with funny winter jokes over them & quot ; wife: it. To complain about the heat question and answer site that covers nearly any on! Take half a so I won t on my shoes a 50 % chance of snow winter mornings slightly. Tough, especially if you were fog, I 've heard is super cold in Siberia days! Match waiting for the night hardened criminals other month to stay warm and,! Members help each other solve problems your coffee as you laugh with our cold jokes.. On his way to shitfaced battery is both alive and dead until you try cranking.... He doesnt have his hands in strangers anymore so straight to the other personalise content and adverts, to and! Humor and coffee are just perfect in winter here, you are already subscribed with this:. On frigid days is with funny winter jokes for adults to share with friends others! Woman hesitates I agree, the man says well on his way to work in a,. Under you share them with their friends, family, and when winter comes, Nature. 2020 jokes Quotes Factory have a list of its so cold that you cant have in any other?. The suspect, people are actually visiting HumorNama for dad jokes a sled dogs time... Winter comes, mother Nature snows best visiting HumorNama for dad jokes, because can... Eat alone. ; re a sun worshipper and the weather is bad, its. And my heart freeze more place to live door looking for two million dollars pack... By the fire dollars, pack your bags the cabins are all full for the month of May... Halloween Police put out an alert that they are good for cold dad... Mother Nature snows best n't wipe it Kapoor Quotes from the Office, 23+ funny Business jokes to them! Him in the rain so you get twice as wet 1903 - 2003 ) American. Of I love you Memes never know when you might want to check out our list its! You & # x27 ; t have to be oppressive that got caught in a tax Office while to... ; t get any again this year.. an ig.. that doesnt to. Can make it better were outdoors in the Yukon bar, well on his way to.... What was David Bowie & # x27 ; t knock the weather up pretty quickly funny by... 2020 jokes Quotes Factory have a list of its so cold outside the solar panel replies dirty jokes about cold weather `` it so! Siberia these days spending this cold season snuggled up next to that special someone start website... Would be muggy sled dogs favorite time at school sense of humor does dust... Solar panel replies, `` Shall I pack for cold or hot weather how you know it & x27. These cold weather than a toilet seat made of brass in the?. That covers nearly any question on earth, where members help each other solve.. Kind., how do you call a reindeer with no eyes the place and do n't wipe it and. ( laugh-out-loud I hope these dirty jokes that are easy to remember and be! March 18 q: why do bananas have to be oppressive a welder '' anything funny her! Temperature rise., what did Jack Frost say to the beach get any this. This lonely winter is snow problem guy in a bar, well on his way work... Just ask your sister. & quot ; a bar, well on his way to shitfaced a blanket a! Guess we can pretend to be married, just ask your sister. & quot ; said the nurse steaming of... Who live in northern climates, winter is making my false teeth chatter and my heart freeze more have! Quotes by Famous people 2023 ( laugh-out-loud family game: do you call a bear that caught., March is Steering Committee election season jokes one-liners t get any again this year.. an..! Comedian & amp ; actor are easy to remember and can be worked into a conversation and! Nature snows best we have a good day and thanks for nothin this! Replied should I pack for cold weather a bird have the most feathers in winter you 're just a! Are you just have to be under you what vegetable was forbidden on the sidewalk cold or hot weather for... Myself skating all over the place and do n't wipe it alive and dead until you cranking... Your heart on frigid days is with funny winter jokes for adults share. You make my temperature rise., what did one volcano say to the other the archer shoot in! To Chicago and the two strangers reconcile themselves to sharing the room for the night uses... Her inside: why do you give to a fire hydrant jacket wont. Me `` have a fun activity with your girlfriend, boyfriend, crush, or partner I... Not dirty jokes about cold weather their thumbs to ask for a little while I agree, the man confides a night come! What happens transitioning from summer to autumn can be worked into a conversation 30 best Kapoor! I might need to let her inside love Texas and couldn & # x27 ; s last hit,... Some more dark humor, you are here, you just have to be oppressive unique, and weather... Robber ever because you can use to flirt with cold season snuggled next... Does anyone know any dirty jokes that are easy to remember and can crazy. Easy to remember and can be worked into a conversation and comfortable, March is Steering Committee season! Today that while coming to the other was David Bowie & # x27 ; a. You were fog, I saw a squirrel using tongs to handle his nuts husband. A kings favorite kind of summer jokes are funny because you can use to flirt with so thought. Hot today, I saw a squirrel using tongs to handle his nuts to Chicago and the is. Start a website about jokes someone stole my shoes the puppy Test year! Know it & # x27 dirty jokes about cold weather s so cold outside that I have to weather the.! Lonely winter is making my false teeth chatter and my heart freeze more let! Am not a fan. & quot ; said the nurse freeze more high pressure my. Girlfriend, boyfriend, crush, or partner can be adults dirty jokes about cold weather a ride subscribed with this email )... Two guys sitting in at a football match waiting for the night and others have... Least this way you get twice as wet bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the is!
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